By: Gab Hi! I've been in this site for quite some time now and I realize, heck, why don't I submit my story? But before anything els...
By: Gab
Hi! I've been in this site for quite some time now and I realize, heck, why don't I submit my story? But before anything else, I’m Gab (not my real name), 16 years old, Cebuano, 5’9 ang height, volleyball varsity player sa school, fair complexion with Spanish blood. I’m not really gay, I’m bisexual but I’m more inclined to guys and I don’t act all girly, hindi talaga halata na I like boys dahil boy na boy ako. So this is how my story goes...
Before, I always thought I was straight but when I entered high school, nag-iba na ako dahil na attract na ako sa mga lalaki. Siguro I wanted to feel how it is to be loved by a man dahil I don’t feel it from my dad kasi eh, I feel like he hates me and I’m the unwanted child so basically, close ako ni mama PLUS it doesn’t help na sa compound namin halos puro babae, my aunts and most of their children ay babae and their husbands are working abroad (my dad has 8 sisters, he’s sixth in the family and the only boy) But I still like girls pero kaya nga, more sa boys. This life is hard, being raised in a very religious and conservative family; I had to fight this feeling and even questioned God; why did You do this to me? But eventually I started to feel comfortable and accepted myself. But I kept it hidden from them still.
Even though I knew that I liked boys, I still convinced myself na straight ako until the summer before Grade 10. It was the time na accepted ko na talaga na mas gusto ko lalaki kaysa babae, mga 70%-30% siguro. It was also because of Raffy (and again, hindi niya totoong pangalan). Raffy, he’s 5’7 tall, chinky eyes (mga type ko), fair skinned, he’s half Korean half Filipino pero very Filipino ang ugali, very very well built dahil part siya sa CAT unit namin
Before, I always thought I was straight but when I entered high school, nag-iba na ako dahil na attract na ako sa mga lalaki. Siguro I wanted to feel how it is to be loved by a man dahil I don’t feel it from my dad kasi eh, I feel like he hates me and I’m the unwanted child so basically, close ako ni mama PLUS it doesn’t help na sa compound namin halos puro babae, my aunts and most of their children ay babae and their husbands are working abroad (my dad has 8 sisters, he’s sixth in the family and the only boy) But I still like girls pero kaya nga, more sa boys. This life is hard, being raised in a very religious and conservative family; I had to fight this feeling and even questioned God; why did You do this to me? But eventually I started to feel comfortable and accepted myself. But I kept it hidden from them still.
Even though I knew that I liked boys, I still convinced myself na straight ako until the summer before Grade 10. It was the time na accepted ko na talaga na mas gusto ko lalaki kaysa babae, mga 70%-30% siguro. It was also because of Raffy (and again, hindi niya totoong pangalan). Raffy, he’s 5’7 tall, chinky eyes (mga type ko), fair skinned, he’s half Korean half Filipino pero very Filipino ang ugali, very very well built dahil part siya sa CAT unit namin
(parang army thingy sa school) at naglalaro pa ng basketball, table tennis at volleyball. Attractive talaga siya pero mysterious. Pareha kami ni many ways, he grew with his mother dahil his father left them while he was still very young dahil ayaw ng lolo niya na makasal ang father niya sa non Korean kaya pumunta sa Korea at iniwan sila dito pero his father sustains them naman. Classmates kami since Grade 7 pero hindi kami gaanong close before. I just started noticing him and developed a liking for him pagsummer. I don’t know why but he just suddenly popped inside my head and then BAM! My world changed.
******
So first day of class, I was ready to face the challenges ahead and excited rin ako makita mga friends ko. Early ako nagpahatid sa school dahil nga first day at excited ako makita mga katropa ko (and partly excited na makita siya) pero pagdating ko doon, naalala ko na CAT pala siya at kapag first day, busy sila sa pag-assist sa mga lower grade levels. Kaya pumunta nalang ako sa room at bilis-bilis pumunta sa seat ko at tinignan kung sino seatmates ko. I was seated sa rightmost seat so wala sa left side, front at back lang ang seatmates ko. I checked the chairs but there were no names, only class numbers and beside me was the class number 10. I quickly checked who class number 10 was (hoping it was him) at laking tuwa ko’ng malaman na si Raffy nga!
And so the first day ended and I felt like I was in heaven dahil katabi ko siya at daaaaaaamn, ganda talaga ng feeling. So ayon, naging katropa ko na rin siya at palagi na kaming magkasama, sa canteen, sa grouping, sa partnering ng mga activities sa school, kahit sa P.E. nga eh kasabay ko siya’ng nagcutting. And every day that passed by, I fell in love with him even more. I did things I haven’t done like cry before I sleep because of someone (the realization that we cannot be together made me cry), I can’t eat, can’t sleep, I look forward in going to school and I dread going home. And one time sa homeroom namin, we filled up something at may nakasulat doon “Write down your best friend’s name” at laking gulat ko when he tapped my shoulders and whispered in my ear, “Gab, I’ll write down your name ok?” sabi ko ok naman and I wrote down his name too, after ko na-isulat ang pangalan ng una kong best friend, si Marco.
Sa sobrang close namin, our classmates and even our teacher teased both of us, “bromance daw” sabi niya dahil nga we always talk and whisper in each other’s ear kahit nagdiscuss teacher namin. Dahil rin we move our chairs closer to each other and sleep on the arm rest with our heads close to each other. Dahil rin we share one jacket, I use one sleeve and he uses the other dahil malapit kami sa aircon at natutulog kami sa ganoong position. Sa example ng teacher namin, ginawa pa kaming dalawa na mag-boyfriend. Basta close na close talaga kami, mas close na kami kaysa sa mga katropa ko since grade 7.
One day, nalaman ko na lang na nililigawan niya pala yung friend ko’ng babae. Ouch, nadepress talaga ako noon. Sa sobrang depress ko, hindi ko na siya pinapansin. I kept my distance from him but he didn’t notice it. But my friends did pero hindi ko sila sinabihan bakit, expect yung isang katropa ko na si Marco (hindi niya totoong pangalan) na since kinder ko pa kaibigan, siya yung pinaka best friend ko. So sinabi ko sa kanya but he accepted me naman, he said that he can’t change me and I am the way I am but it doesn’t mean na I am less of a friend to him. So ‘yun, siya na nasasabihan ko ng lahat. Pero hindi ko talaga madelete yung feelings ko para kay Raffy, something about him that draws me to him kasi eh. Parang feeling ko na he also feels the same. Kaya pinatuloy ko yung feelings ko para sa kanya at bumalik na an gaming closeness, kahit masakit sa part sa akin, so close yet so far.
******
Early August, our school will send students to Baguio for national academic competitions. Napili ako to to represent the school sa Science quizbowl, General information, essay writing at folk dance competition. Napili naman siya sa Math quizbowl, poster making at hiphop competition together with other students (mga 20 kami, kasali pa tatlo sa aking mga katropa at yung nililigawan ni Raffy). So panay practices namin after school at dahil mas maaga ako matapos, I always stay behind to watch him practice hiphop (dahil rin hiphop si Marco and we ride home together since our houses are near each other). And every night hindi talaga ako nagsasawa tingnan siya, SHIT ang sarap pa ng dougie niya!
“Guys! Since dapat maaga tayo sa school on the night of the departure, sleepover tayo sa amin!” sabi ni Raffy two days before our departure. Excited kami lahat and we said yes to this. Nagpaalam ako sa parents ko at ok naman sa kanila. On the night before our departure, nagpahatid na ako sa kanila. Doon, kami’ng lima ay nagsamasama at kung anu-ano ang ginagawa namin. Dapat by 2 am nasa school na kami kaya we decided not to sleep. We talked about serious stuff until we reached the topic about crushes namin.
“Ikaw Gab, sino crush mo?” Tanong ni Jay, isa naming katropa. Patay, nanginginig ako at nakita ko si Marco na lumaki ang mata. “Aaah, eeeh wala ako’ng crush eh” sabi ko.
“Meron! When you were depressed, dahil yun sa crush mo noh?” sabi ni Kyle.
“Hahahha! Oo nga! Mag.share ka na Gab!” bumirit pa si Ed.
“Oo na! Dahil sa kanya. Ano kasi eh, basta Malabo.”
“Bakit malabo?” tanong ni Raffy. Lahat sila dumikit sa akin at hinintay na magsalita ako.
“Malabo. Wala ako’ng chance eh, talagang impossible talaga. But dahil sa crush ko, I did things I’ve never done before like cry at night, hindi makakain, hindi makatulog. Basta palagi siya’ng nasa isipan ko.”
“Sino ba siya?”, “Sino bay an Gab?” tanong ni Kyle at Jay sa akin pero nakangiti lang ako.
“Ako yan Gab no?” Marco said suddenly. Kinabahan ako and I was schocked. Pero ngumiti lang siya at nagtawanan sila. Tumawa na rin ako.
Lumpias ang oras hanggang kailangan na naming pumunta sa school then to the airport para sa departure naming.
******
Touchdown na kami sa Manila at sumakay ng bus patungo Baguio. Sinabihan kami na kailangan daw buddy-buddy system. “Gab! Partner tayo!” Sabi ni Raffy.
“Partner for life? Sige ba!” biro ko naman at ngumiti siya. SHIT talaga ng ngiti nya’ng ‘yan!
Sumakay na kami sa bus at nagtungo na sa Baguio. Sa layo ng Baguio, nagmuni-muni ako and I decided na I want to stop this nonsense, I don’t want to break this friendship because of my pathetic feelings for him. But then again, dahil nga may nararamdaman ako sa kanya na para ba’ng mutual yung feelings, I can’t stop myself. So I decided to take a chance, whether yes or no, napagpasyahan ko na before we leave Baguio, I am going to tell him how I feel. I might break our friendship or I might open new doors to possibilities. But still, I am afraid.
We reached the place where we’ll stay and we were only given a few minutes to drop our things in our rooms before we’ll have our dinner in SM Baguio. Natural, magkakwarto kaming magtropa at pinili ko yung bed pinakalapit sa door. “Ako dito!” sabi naman niya at nilagay ang mga gamit niya sa bed beside mine. Shit naman o! sabi ko sa sarili ko. Ngumiti siya at bumalik na kami sa bus.
******
“Una kayo bumili, hahanap kami ng upuan ni Raffy.” Sabi ko sa mga katropa naming nang naabot na naming ang foodcourt ng SM Baguio. NAkipaghiwalay kami sa ibang grupo at napagpasyahang kumain dito. Nakabili na an gaming mga kaibigan kaya kami na naman ni Raff yang bumili. Pagkatapos kumain, pupunta daw sila sa Starbucks bago pumunta sa bus. “Gab, halika na.” sabi ni Raffy bago tumayo.
“Ayaw ko, dito lang muna ako. May iniisip ako eh.” Sabi ko at pumunta na sila. After some time, I felt hand on my shoulder and before I can even turn, umupo na si Raffy sa chair opposite of me.
“Akala ko magcoffee kayo?”
“Sila lang, hindi ko kasi ma-enjoy ang coffe ko knowing na may kaibigan ako’ng nag-iisa dito.” SHIT kiniliig talaga ako.
“Tanga, ok lang ako.” Sabi ko pero hindi ko matago ang ngiti ko.
“Gab, may problema ba?”
“Wala naman.”
“Ahh ganun.” Tumahimik kaming dalawa at nagtitigan lang.
“Sabihin mo na kasi sa akin crush mo eh!” Sabi niya, leaning towards me and reaching across the table to slap me on the shoulder.
“Ha? Bakit gusto mo’ng malama?” Sabi ko sa kanya. Sa totoo lang matagal na siyang nagtatanong sa akin pero wala naman akong masagot.
“Wala lang, feel ko kasi once I find out, my world will change.” SHIT! Kinilig nanaman ako. He really knows what to say. Nanginginig na ako, I didn’t expect na within our 7 day stay sa Baguio, sa 1st day ko na masabi sa kanya.
“Sige na nga pero wag dito, daming tao eh.”
******
(this is the part where I felt like I was in a movie, everything was perfect, the ambiance, the feeling. Everything)
“Doon tayo sa terrace, mukhang walang tao.” Sabi niya at lumabas kami sa terrace ng SM Baguio at paglabas naming, shit! Ang ganda. The moon was out and the stars were twinkling, there were no people and in the rear part of the terrace, there was a rock garden so we headed there. Nanginginig kaming dalawa pero ako, dala na ng kaba ang panggiginaw ko.
“Sige go na.” sabi niya at tinignan ako sa mata. SHIT.
“Before I tell you, promise me that you will not say anything first, that you will not open your mouth unless I say that I am finish. Understood?” he only nodded.
I took a deep breath and.
“Shit hindi ko talaga masabi.” Tumawa lang siya at sinabihan akong kumalma.
“Sige eto na…” deep breathe…
“AHH ang hirap!” sabi ko.
Tawa naman siya, “ba’t mahirap? Pangalan lang naman ng tao ah.”
“Sige na nga, count 1 to 10.”
“what?”
“just count.” Sabi ko.
“1”
“2”
“3”
“4”
“5”
“6”
“7”
“8”
“9”
Deep breath.
“10” sabi niya.
“I’m a fucking fag because I really fucking like you and I know it’s so fucking unfair because bago lang tayo nagkaclose and maybe this confession might break our friendship but the reason that I’m telling you this is so that you will be disgusted by me and you will stay away from me because no matter what I do I can’t stay away from you.” Sabi ko, out of breath dahil sa bilis at kaba ko. Tumingin lang siya sa akin.
“Ulitin mo pangalan niya, hindi ko narinig.” Sabi niya.
“Fuck you.” Tumayo ako at lumakad patungo sa stairs sa next floor.
“Gab wait!” he grabbed my arm and pulled me to face him, “sino ba?”
“Raffy fuck you.” Iniwan ko siya and I ascended the stairs.
“Gab teka muna. Sino ba?” he stopped me once again.
“Raffy ikaw nga!” tinulak ko siya and quickly ran up the stairs. He stopped for a while but ran after me. He grabbed my arm once again stopping me.
“Gab I am confused.”
“Raffy ako rin. I am so fucking confused so please just leave me alone for a while.” I pulled my arm free and quickly got on the bus. That night, he transferred bed. I silently cried in my sleep.
******
All throughout the stay in Baguio, he stayed away from me and made sure to be extra lambing to the girl nga nililigawan niya. And of course, I tried to put on a happy face but Marco noticed but let me be. On the night before our departure back to Cebu, I sat on the roadside and Kyle joined me, together with Raffy.
“Hoy Gab! May problema ka nanaman! Si crush bay an? ‘tangina Gab, last year na natin to, wag mo muna’ng problemahin yan. Sino ba siya ha?” I just smiled at him.
“Raffy, sino ba to’ng crush at pinagmumukmukan ni Gab ha?” SHIT ang awkward buti nalang tinawag na kami ng teacher para matulog na.
******
Back to school kami at ang awkward talaga. Sobrang awkward, we have no interaction at nahalata ito ng mga classmates namin. “Anong problema nyo?” tanong nila. Sasagot naman kami na wala. Napansin din ng teachers naming ito at parang pinagtutulungan kami, humahanap sila ng paraan upang bumalik ang sigla namin’ng dalawa.
“Okay choose your own partner!” sabi ng Filipino teacher ko. At dahil galing ako tulog at galing siya sa C.R., kaming dalawa nalang ang natirang walang partner. “Ok Gab at Raffy, partner kayo’ng dalawa.” Shit naman oh! Pinagawa kami ng isang poster tungkol sa kultura ar pagkakaisa ng mga Pilipino, ipapalagay sa isang one whole cartolina at pagkatapos ay gumawa ng three page essay tungkol sa theme. Friday noon at and deadline ay sa Monday kaagad. Binigyan kami ng time para makipag-usap sa partner namin during the period. And awkward talaga, tinitignan kami ng mga classmates namin.
“Oh anon a Gab? Ako ang magdrawing tapos ikaw gagawa ng essay? Ok na?” he said, smiling and joking around as if nothing happened.
I glared at him and said, “Please just don’t fucking act that way.” Natahimik siya and he avoided my eyes.
“So ano gagawin natin?” He said, a bit ashamed.
“Kita nalang tayo bukas here sa school and we’ll finish everything.” I proposed.
“I can’t. May importanteng lakad ako with my mom tomorrow eh.” Sabi niya.
“Ok then I’ll finish everything on my own.” Sabi ko at tumayo.
“GAB NAMAN OH!” he shouted and everyone faced us. Umupo ako muli at pinabayaan na kami ng mga classmates naming.
“Ano ba Raffy? Tanga ka siguro ano?”
“Sorry na. Ikaw kasi eh…”
Tahimik at wala kaming imik.
“Ganito nalang, sleepover tayo sa bahay ko bukas. We’ll meet up here at 5:30 in the afternoon ok?”
“Ok.” Wala na ako’ng choice eh.
******
So Saturday, at around 6 p.m., I found myself waiting in our school to have a sleepover (again) sa bahay nila Raffy pero ngayon, kami nalang dalawa. Shit.
“Sorry Gab ha! Natagalan kasi yung lakad naming. Tara na.” Sabi niya at pumunta na kami sa bahay nila. Sila lang dalawa ng nanay niya ang nakatira doon sa bahay nila, malaki ito at talagang maganda. Sa gabi’ng iyon, ginawa naming yung poster sa sala nila. Tahimik kami at tanging t.v. lang ang ingay. His mother moved upstairs to go to bed and both of us we’re still finishing our project.
“Gab-”
“Raffy whatever it is, the night is already very awkward, don’t make it anymore awkward and uncomfortable for the two of us.”
“Um gusto ko lang kunin ‘yung eraser nasa tabi mo.” Sabi niya sabay turo sa eraser gamit ang lips nya. Shit ang cute. Nahiya tuloy ako at inabot yung eraser.
“Loko ka talaga.” He whispered thinking I didn’t hear him.
“Oo, loko nga ako so sorry ha? Sorry if I’m so fucked up.” Bigla ko’ng nasabi at nagsorry naman siya.
“You know what, forget it. Can we just pretend that nothing happened? Let’s forget everything that happened. Please.” Sabi ko at tinignan niya ako. We held each other’s gaze for a long time. And then he smiled that mesmerizing smile of his that takes my breath away.
“What happened between the two of us?” sabi niya, sabay ngiti na naman. Napangiti naman ako. And so parang walang nangyari sa amin at parang magbest friends na kami uli. We talked about things especially about life. This is what I like about him, his mind is so full of mystery and I really like it when he tells me what’s inside his mind. He knows how to play with words and I can’t help but fall in love even more. We talked about life and deep things that night until we finished the project.
******
“May mumu pala dito.” Sabi niya as we entered the guest room, the room where I’ll be sleeping. “Goodluck ha? Tumakbo ka lang sa room across this one, room ko yun!” sabi niya sabay higa sa kama. Humiga na rin ako pero humiga ako sa lower right part while he was at the upper left part. Nagpatuloy ang usapan namin hanggang habang nagkukuwento ako, when I looked at him, he was already asleep.
“Damn you. Damn you talaga Raffy.” Sabi ko at natulog na rin ako (making sure that I slept as far away as possible from him).
At around 2 a.m., I woke up. Laking gulat ko sa position ko; my left arm was across the chest of Raffy and our legs were intertwined. He was lying on his back and I was lying on my side facing him; our heads were very close that my breath was on his cheeks already.
“Shit.” I whispered. I didn’t move. I looked at his face as he slept and stayed that way for a while. His mumbled in his sleep, “Gab.” Sabi niya. Mukhang nanaginip to’ng mokong to ah! Bigla tumagilid yung mukha niya so our faces were inches away from each other; his breath was hot on my face and my breath was hot on his. I looked at him and slowly inched my face closer and closer until our lips touched. I gave him a gentle kiss on the lips. Bumalik naman ang ulo niya sa dating position (facing the ceiling).
“Tama na.” Sabi ko sa sarili ko and slowly lifted my left arm from his chest. Laki’ng gulat ko when he moved both of his arms and took my left arm, hugging it and placing it back on his chest. Laki’ng gulat ko rin nang sinabi niya’ng “Let’s stay like this for a while.”
Shit! Di ko na kaya to. Nanginit yung pakiramdam ko. He opened his eyes and looked at me.
“Gab?”
“Raffy?”
At bigla niya akong hinalikan. Lumayo soya at sinabing “Sorry.”
I only looked at him and pulled his face back to mine and kissed him passionately. At first he refused to open his mouth but he sooner opened it and our tongues were dancing in our mouth like crazy. He took my left arm and guided it sa body nya, he made me touch everything saving the best for last. Pinahipo niya ang malaking bukol niya sa akin pero hindi naman ako nakonteto kaya pinasok ko ang kamay ko sa shorts nya.
“Shit Gab, slowly.” He said while smiling and kissing me. His hands were also all over me and found my hard dick. He slipped his hand inside my boxer and we were kissing and slowly jacking each other off.
“Hirap nito, maghubad na tayo.” He said, getting up and helping me get up too. He was going to take off his shirt but I stopped him. “Let me do it.” Sabi ko and he just smiled at me. I kissed him on the forehead, then on his nose. Kissed him passionately on the lips, on the neck as I slowly lifted his t-shirt. I took his shirt off and he did the same to me.
My hands were all over his chest and his hands were all over mine too as we kissed each other and slowly undressed each other’s boxers. Hubo’t hubad na kami and we stared at each other’s body for a while.
“You are so beautiful.” Sabi niya and he stepped towards me.
“You’re one fucking Greek god yourself.” I whispered and kissed him. We passionately kissed each other and licked each other’s body before I pushed him to the bed.
He was sitting on the edge of the bed and I was kneeling between his legs, his manhood standing 7 inches long, throbbing and rock hard in front of me. I looked at him in the yes first at sabi niya “Grabe ka Gab! You are such a tease. Please naman oh!” sabay tulak ng ari niya patungo sa sara kong bibig. I opened it slowly and licked the head of his dick. “Fucking shit!” sumigaw siya at tumigil.
“Huwag kang ma-ingay. Baka marinig ng nanay mo.” Sabi ko at patuloy na tinitilaan yung ari niya. Panay ang ungol niya and his face of pleasure turned me on, the way he looked at me as I sucked him and the way he bites his lips because of the sensation. Sinubo ko ang ari nya from head to the base at napa ungol siya ng malakas and he moved his hips, “Shit GAB! Lalabasan ako kapag ginawa mo yan!” patuloy ko itong ginagawa hanggang kinuha niya ang ulo ko at naghalikan nanaman kami.
“Now it’s your turn.” Sabi niya sa tenga ko, kasabay ang devilish grin. Pina-upo niya ako sa edge sa bed at diretso niyang sinubo ang ari ko, from head to the base. “SHIT RAFFY! AHHHHHH UUUUUHHHHH! SHIT DAHAN DAHAN!” bigla ako’ng napasigaw. Tiningnan lang niya ako habang sinusubo pa rin ang buong laki ng 7 and a half inch na ari ko. Shit naka turn on talaga ang mukha niya kapag sinusubo yung ari ko. Habang chinuchupa niya ako, busy naman ang kamay nya sa pag-explore sa katawan ko. Nang feeling kong lalabasan na ako, kiuha ko ang mukha niya at naghalikan kami’ng dalawa at humiga sa kama with him on top of me.
Lumayo siya sa kiss naming at bumaliktad yung posisyon nya, chinuchupa nanaman niya ako habang ang tigas nyang ari ay nasa mukha ko na. Chinupa ko rin siya at nag 69 position kami sabay labas pasok ng thumb finger ko sap wet nya. Nabigla siya at first pero nawala na rin. Napansin ko na parang malaki laki ang butas sap wet nya. “nagfifinger ka no?” tanong ko at sinuklian lang niya ako ng masarap na chupa.
“Gab stop, malapit na ako.” Sabi niya at tumayo na siya. Pina-upo niya ako muli at laking gulat ko nang umupo siya sa lap ko facing me. Hinalikan niya ako and whispered, “Gab I love you. Please fuck me.”
Sinagot ko siya sa pamamagitan ng magbasa ng palad ko gamit ang laway and lubricated my dick and his ass with my saliva. I slowly pushed my dick inside his ass at napa-ungol siya nang nasaloob na. “Shit ang laki mo Gab. I can feel your hard dick throbbing inside of me.” Naghalikan kami at dahan dahan na siyang nagtaas baba sa ari ko.
“Fuck Raffy! Shit! Ang warm ng insides mo! AAAHHHH UUHHH AAAAH OOHHHH SHIT FUCK.” Ito nalang ang nasabi ko habang patuloy siya sa pagtaas baba sa ari ko.
“Gab fuck me. I love you Gab. Shit. AAHH OOOHH UUUUH SHIT GAB AND SARAP MO.” Sabi niya. Both of us were already sweating and it added to the pleasurable sensation, our sweaty bodies rubbing together. Binilisan niya ang pagtaas baba at kaming dalawa ay panay ungol nalang. Sinalsal ko ang ari niya habang nagtaas baba pa siya.
“Gab malapit na ako.”
“Ako rin Raffy. Sabay tayo.” Binilisan pa niya ang pagtaas baba at binilisan o rin ang magsalsal ko sa kanya.
“Shit Gab ayan naaa. AYAN NAAAAA!”
“Raffy I love you. SHIT! AHHH UHHH AHHH! SHIT! FUCK AND SARAP MO RAFFY! FUUUUUUUUCK!” naghalikan kaming dalawa para hindi kami makapag-ingay at nilabasan ako sa loob ni Raffy at nilabasan naman siya sa palad ko at sa tiyan naming dalawa. Unti unti’ng humihina ang pagtaas baba niya hangang tumigil na siya at humiga kaming dalawa sa higaan, he’s on top of me, his dick pressed between our stomach and my dick still inside of him.
“I love you Gab.”
“I love you Raffy.”
Naghalikan nanaman kami’ng dalawa at nag-ayos sa C.R. Umandar nanaman ang kalibogan naming at nag-isang round pa sa shower. Natulog kami ng walang saplot at yakap ang isa’t isa.
******
Hindi na na-ulit pa ang experience na iyon sa ami’ng dalawa. In fact after that experience, we slowly drifted away from each other. We didn’t talk about what will happen to us but we lived our separate lives. It hurts me every time I see him with my friend (yung nililigawan niya, parang gf na ata niya) at para ba’ng he’s being sweet to her in purpose kapa’g I’m around. Until now, I still like him and I don’t know if the feeling is mutual. Basta nalaman ko lang isang araw from our close mutual friend na nag-admit daw si Raffy sa kanya na bi siya. Wala na ako’ng pake pero parang nasiyahan naman ako. Sa school, hindi na kami masyadong close pero from time to time, we spend time with each other. I am slowly keeping my distance from him, I don’t want to expect and get hurt kasi eh. But I hate him because he does these things tha makes me think nga he likes me too and that I have a chance. Isang araw nga, he just turned to me suddenly and said, “Gab… I love you but…” hindi na niya natapos ang sasabihin niya dahil nasaktan na ang puso ko sa “but” nya at sa mga ginagawa niya’ng mukhang pagpaasa sa akin.
I don’t know what the future holds for the two of us. All I know is that we will be taking the same course in college in the same university and it seems nga matagal pa kami’ng magkasama. Let’s just see what happened. Que sera sera.
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