By: Jack “I am sorry Jack. Mahal ko pa rin siya.” It was a rainy night of August 2010 when Charles decided to break my heart. I tried to con...
By: Jack
“I am sorry Jack. Mahal ko pa rin siya.”It was a rainy night of August 2010 when Charles decided to break my heart. I tried to convince him to stay and gave my best shot, but in the end, it was no use. I needed to let him go.
I am Jack. 25 years of age. And since I was young, I knew that I am attracted to the gender same as I am. I know that I do not belong to what our society tagged as normal. I know I am “different.” Yes, I am different but I also realize that sometimes, being different does not receive the approval of many. I grew up trying to make myself believe that I can change – that I can somehow prove that I do belong. During my high school years, I enrolled in academies that offer training for taekwondo and basketball, courted few ladies and madly tried to fall in love with them, but in the end, nothing has changed – I am still the same old Jack. That’s why, when the glorious days of college came, I decided to stop pretending and let myself be free from the norms of the “normal” society. I opened my heart to the possibility of finding true love with a man, which I thought was Charles.
*-*
E10042009: Hi! ASL?
Hyurei: Hi! 29, M, Marikina
E10042009: Oh, where in Marikina?
Hyurei: Here in ***.
E10042009: Wow. Malapit ka lang pala sa amin. Do you want to go to a private chat?
After days of being broken and lonely, I have decided to fool around by logging in to websites where video chatting was an option - from flaunting your upper torso to finding your climax being the finale. I am not sure if my viewers are so interested to see my cock,
but what I know and what I enjoy the most is their attention - the attention that I never got from my parents neither from Charles. I guess, that is what I am looking for, attention. This “show” and attention-getting lasted for few days until I met Richard. Unlike the others, Richard, or Hyurei (his screen name online), was not attracted to me. I tried undressing a thousand times in front of the camera but to him, nothing was spectacular. He would always insist that it would be better if I would just seat back, relax and talk to him. We started talking, and after few good chats, he was able to convince me to show my face in the camera.
Hyurei: Oh! Ang cute mo pala.
E10042009: Bolero! Nakuha mo lang gusto mo. Nambola ka pa.
Hyurei: Hindi mo na kailangan ipakita katawan mo kasi ngiti mo pa lang ulam na.
E10042009: Haha! Grabe ka rin manghirit ah.
To be fair, he allowed me for the first time to see his face online. To my surprise, this Richard has a façade of a real cute guy! Imagine how a 5’11’’ basketball player (as he is wearing a jersey) with cute little eyes and one heartwarming smile would melt a little gay’s heart away – that is how he looks at that time. It was like time stood still and the clock stopped ticking and my heart ceased from beating. I never imagined that I would meet someone as good-looking as Richard online.
E10042009: Ikaw nga ang mas cute eh! Ang gwapo mo kaya
Hyurei: I know.
E10042009: Haha! May kaunting yabang din ano?
Hyurei: Hindi naman. (as he pulls his shirt up and shows his muscular body and mouth-watering abs)
E10042009: Kaya pala ayaw mo sa katawan ko eh. Mas masarap ang abs mo. Haha!
Hyurei: Nah. I’m just teasing. I am more attracted to guys with brains than to those having just good faces and bodies. Unexpectedly, I found them both in you.
E10042009: Haha! Sira!
The whole conversation lasted until midnight. If not for my dad who asked why am I still up, I guess the cock already crew and we are still awake.
*-*
August 11, 2010
This video chatting lasted for few days and to my surprise, I started falling in love with Richard. I need to be honest, I really am – I am falling in love with him.
E10042009: Chard?
Hyurei: Yes, my baby.
E10042009: Baby?! Ok ka lang? Haha!
Hyurei: Ikaw naman. Naglalambing lang. Yes po?
E10042009: Sinira mo naman yung pageemote ko eh.
Hyurei: Emotera ka! Haha!
E10042009: Ahm…
Hyurei: Yes…
E10042009: I just wanted to let you know that I appreciate your time a lot. Salamat sa friendship. And most of all, I want you to know that I like you. More than that, I think I am starting to fall in love with you. Pero Chard…
Hyurei: I know.
E10042009: You know what?
Hyurei: Take your time, Jack. No rush. I am willing to wait until your heart is ready to fall in love again.
E10042009: How did you know?
Hyurei: You are not that difficult to read Jack. I know you needed the attention – the attention that your previous lover failed to let you feel. That is why you try to attract as much guys as you can.
E10042009: …
Hyurei: But no worries, I am here to accompany you every step of the way. Just let your heart heal and let me know if the right time comes for this Richard to win that broken heart. But honestly, it will not be my task to fix it, but it will be my honor to take good care of it. That is, if you will let me.
*-*
August 18, 2010. At 5 in the afternoon. I have decided to finally meet him personally. Riding my red motorcycle, I stopped at his gate, as how he described it every time I ask, and knocked.
“Jack?”
“Good afternoon, Richard.”
(to be continued)
COMMENTS