By: Tom Hi. Previously, I wrote a series of stories here about the best and worst moments of my life, which happens to revolve around my bes...
By: Tom
Hi. Previously, I wrote a series of stories here about the best and worst moments of my life, which happens to revolve around my best friend. I tried to write because some famous guy that I forgot the name said that a way to move on is to put your feelings into literature...or something like that. Basta ang alam ko, hindi si Bob Ong yun. And since moving on requires a lot of effort and I am one lazy kid, I wrote here because you know, other people wouldn't understand if I told them the story. Pero I really got busy with my academic life and extra curricular activities, so I wasn't able to continue that story. I'll try to finish it some other time or maybe not, parang hindi naman talaga kasi ako naka-move on.
Just so you know, I am now a college student at one of the top universities in the country Pero naniniwala talaga ako kay Lorde with her line "and we'll never be royals...” Sorry ang corny ko talaga. College taught me a lot of things, of course given yung sa academic side. I think I really matured and I began to accept who I am and also to appreciate other people. Back in high school, I was not open to the notion that I might fall in love with another man. Marahil yun na din ang dahilan kung bakit hindi kami nagwork out ng best friend ko. I still don't believe in labels though. I mean I can love a man or a woman. Do you have to label me gay, bisexual, queer or illegal alien? It's just that I find love, where love is, anong masama dun?
At this point, I should warn you that this story won't help you in achieving an orgasm or achieving anything at all. Hindi niya masasagot kung nage-exist ba si God o kung bakit patuloy pa rin ang corruption sa Pilipinas. Hindi ito yung usual perverted stories na nababasa dito. At lalong walang incest sa story na to (Come on people, ang daming ibang tao diyan why do you have to do it with your uncle, cousin or brother).
Kung trip mo yung mga ganun, feel free to browse for other stories. Sigurado ako madami kang makikitang ganun dito. Honestly, hindi ko nga alam kung bakit ko ba sinulat to. Syempre hindi ko din alam kung bakit patuloy ka pa din sa pagbabasa.Treat this as an open letter or essay or ewan.
Since hindi naman ako sa city lumaki, nahirapan ako mag-adjust sa Manila. Sanay ako sa fresh air, walang traffic, at walang holdaper na environment. Pinagtripan ata ako ni Lord dahil sa Espana ko pa napiling mag-dorm. It took me a year to fit in and fully adjust but not with some consequences. Heartbroken and far away from home, I flunked two subjects. Well hindi naman talaga ako bumagsak academically speaking, sadyang isa akong "professional power napper" kaya madalas absent ako sa morning subjects ko. Ayun na-FA tuloy, sabi sa'yo sobrang tamad ko.
A year has gone by at sophomore na pala ako. The past still keeps on haunting me: there's my retroactive feelings for my best friend, the girl who keeps on stalking me, family problems, my failing social life and especially yung first year subjects na I had to retake. Hassle pala mag-enroll nang subjects na kailangan mo i-retake. Puno na kasi yung slots nung subjects sa major ko so I had to enlist sa ibang majors. Pinatos ko na kaysa naman hindi ako maka-graduate on time.
First day of the semester. Nasa hallway pa lang ako kinakabahan na ako. I'm not the friendly type naman kasi. If I don't know you, I won't talk to you. Isa yun sa mga pinakaunang tinuro sa akin nung kindergarten: "Don't talk to strangers". Hindi ko din naman kasi sila ka-major at ang stereotype sa major nila ay may balls, matatapang at elitista. Yung schedule nila yung pinakapasok sa schedule ko so wala naman akong choice. I actually wished that the hallway would not end pero nasa tapat na ako ng room nila. I entered the room. It was a bit gloomy, the chairs were not aligned like it was supposed to be. The boys, as I would like to call them since they were freshmen, are at their usual ruckus. I told to myself, parang wala naman akong makakasundo dito. I sat at the back row and instantly became a witness to all that was happening in the room. May mga nagtatawanan, nagmumurahan, and I swear one guy was watching porn in his cell phone. I looked around, there was the image of the crucified Jesus on the top of the white board. It was boring really, I hoped that the prof would come in and discuss something, be done with it so I could go to my next class. But lo and behold someone came in, everyone was quiet, they thought it was our professor but it wasn't. This was the first time that I set eyes on him.
He went inside and my eyes were set on him like a lion stalking its prey. Isa kasi sa hobby ko ang "people watching". I like observing people, learning about their mannerisms and idiosyncrasies tapos ginagawan ko sila ng stereotypes. Ewan, na-develop na lang din siya sakin e. He was sitting quietly, somewhat texting or just fidgeting with his phone. Talking, interacting, trying to participate and he's quite good at it. He's very mysterious in a way that you'd like to find out the mysteries yourself. You see, there are only six interesting people in their classroom. He was one, there's this handsome boy in glasses, two pretty girls, a morena girl and one cute lesbian. Pero siya talaga yung nag-standout. What I know is that I have this tendency to fall in love with men pero with this one, it's different, it's like I'm attracted to him in a weird way. This didn't happen with my best friend, I just woke up one day na "Fuck, in love pala ako sa bestfriend ko". So that day, I learned that his name was John and he stands 5'10. Okay I'll admit he was my first college guy crush but that's it. I never stayed in their classroom after classes. Yes, I made some friends and their block was cool and all pero iba talaga yung culture e so after classes usually I get out, proceed to my next class or if there's time, puff a cigarette or two.
Another year has passed and I forgot about him. I rarely bump into him and if I do see him, hindi ko naman siya pinapansin since never naman kami nag-usap talaga. Also as it is my third year here in the university, I decided to come out of my shell. I joined organizations, made more friends than ever and I even joined a dance troupe. One of my good friends, Angel, needed assistants since she is an officer of our organization. Wala naman siyang gaanong kilala sa college namin so nag-recruit na din ako ng mga tao to help our team. Angel mentioned that she has new crush at gusto daw maging assistant na ni-refer nung common friend namin. Sabi ni Angel, matangkad daw, may itsura at sinabi nga niya yung major. I had a hunch that it was John. Sa lahat ng kilala kong ka major niya e konti lang naman yung matangkad at yung pwedeng matipuhan ni Angel.
Sabi na nga ba at dapat tumataya ako sa lotto. It was John.
Tom: Hi, John tama ba? Ikaw pala yung sinasabi nung friend namin. Natatandaan mo pa ba ako?
John: Uy kuya ikaw pala di ba kumuha ka na ng subject samin dati? Ano nga ulit pangalan mo?
Tom: Oo ako nga. Tom nga pala. Grabe kinalimutan na... Bla bla bla...
After our small talk we got down to business and Angel oriented us on her agendas for our organization. Pagkatapos nun syempre konting kwentuhan with our team and sobrang smooth lang ng lahat na feeling ko matagal na kaming magkakakilala. I got his number pero syempre hindi ko naman siya tinetext unless it was official org business. Sobrang weird lang para sakin na naging crush ko siya, magkaiba kami ng major at year level, isang tao lang ang commonality namin and now here we are working in the same team. I really thought that all we will ever be are Facebook friends who don’t really know anything about each other. Lord, is this a sign? Well, I have a whole academic year to know. Honestly, I was excited about what's going to happen. Summer came and we didn't see each other until June...
To be continued...
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