I Had A Bestfriend (Part 7)

By: Ben Okay so first, I’m gonna say sorry for disappearing for almost two years… It’s just that I have to cope up with something. Second, I...

By: Ben

Okay so first, I’m gonna say sorry for disappearing for almost two years… It’s just that I have to cope up with something. Second, I’m gonna continue writing this story. I’m gonna finish this story just for you guys. So I reread my last story and I’ll continue from there.
The next day, nagprepare na lang kami to leave the country kasi we only have 3 days and 2 nights for that specific trip. Before kami umalis tho, Ninong Jose scheduled a lunch for us. We arrived at some fancy resto there, syempre still with Joshua with us. We met Ninong Jose with his newly wed husband. Shet tangina sobrang inggit ko talaga sa kanilang dalawa right then and there kasi super happy nila and cute together.
Ninong Jose: Uy Ben ang laki mo na. As in legit. You’re really big. Do you work out?
Ako: I just do sports Ninong. Hehe meet Joshua po pala. Bestfriend ko.
Joshua: Uhm hello po. And congrats din po pala sa wedding nyo.
Ninong’s face was shocked. He then looked at Dad for some explanation.
Dad: They know.
Dad actually smiled at him and I saw Ninong’s face etched with worry as he searched my face and Joshua’s for any sign of judgment, in which he found none.
Ninong: Thank you kids ah. Tara lunch na tayo. You still have a long trip back home.

All throughout the lunch, Ninong Jose was seated between Dad and Ninong Alejandro.. Mom was beside Dad. I was beside Mom with Joshua in between Ninong Alejandro and me. It seems like the four of them was reminiscing their college days kasi puro sila tawanan and even thought the four of them have some issues back in the past, parang wala lang. No awkwardness between all of them as in kahit konti. And it made me think na maybe, there’s a chance na darating din yung day na wala nang ilangan samin ni Joshua and we’ll be back to being bestfriends. There’s nothing wrong in hoping naman diba?
Lunch ended and our long trip back home started.

Second year in college. AY 2014-2015. I’m still trying to pass school lalo at may cut-off samin na kapag di mo na fulfill, tanggal ka. So yeah, I really wanted to stay so I studied hard. Tamang time management lang naman and I balanced school with my other shit.
I learned na Joshua ran for office in their local mother org sa Pharma. And he won pala he didn’t tell me. Anyway, after the London trip pala sobrang di pa rin kami matatawag na okay ni Joshua but at least he loosened up na unlike before the trip. I could really say na that trip did something good naman to our relationship.

Nung nagstart yun sem, medj nagkakatugma na yung scheds naming ni Joshua and Jay so may days na kaming tatlo nagsasabay ng lunch. Joshua and I are still not on bestfriend level pero I could feel that day would come closer than I expected dati.
Jay: Uy Joshua balita ko officer ka sa org nyo ah! Edi busy ka na nyan? Di na tayo masyado makakapagkita?
Joshua: Sakto lang. Haha siguro may days na di ako makakasabay sa inyo pero ewan di ko din alam pa for now eh.
Ako: Bat kasi ang active active mo eh? Akala ko pa naman iiwan mo na sa HS yung pagiging active mo sa orgs orgs nay an.
Joshua: Di naman kasi ganun kadali iwan yun. Syempre passion ko yun eh. Mahal ko kaya hindi madali kalimutan.
Ako: Ahhhh ganun ba? So yung pagkakaibigan natin, di mo mahal kaya madali mong nakalimutan?
Joshua: Alam mo kung ganyan ka lagi makipagusap, di malayong di na ako sumabay sa inyo kumain. Alis na nga ako.
Tumayo na nga sya at umalis kahit di pa sya tapos kumain.
Ako: Anong sinabi kong mali?
Jay: Tanga ka ba? Buti nga nagsisimula ka nang kausapin nung tao eh. Ikaw naman papatutsadahan mo din.
Ako: Eh kasi parang may hugot yung sinasabi nya eh. Di ko na rin naman napigilan…
Jay: Hay ewan ko sayo Ben. Tinutulungan naman kita kay Joshua eh. Tulungan mo din sarili mo kung gusto mo pa rin talagang maging okay kayo like dati.
Ako: Sinusubukan ko naman eh. I’m trying. I’m really trying.
Jay: Sige na balik na tayo sa class. Baka malate na ako. See you na lang next time.

It was around July when my world turned upside down. Jay texted me saying na Joshua wanted to meet. Free time ko naman na and pauwi naman na ako nun so I decided to go sa meeting area na sinabi ni Jay. Naabutan ko si Jay pa lang yung andun.
Jay: Uy. Prepare yourself ah.
Ako: Why pre? For what?
Jay: Basta. Kaya mo yan.
Sakto nakita ko nang parating si Joshua. May kasama syang lalaki na ngayon ko lang nakita. Mukhang taga Engineering based on his uniform.
Joshua: Uy hi Jay, Ben. Ah ano, I just want you to meet si Louise. Boyfriend ko.
Nakipagkamay samin etong si Louise. Di ko inexpect kahit pa winarn na ako ni Jay. Di ko inexpect na ipapakilala samin, sakin ni Joshua yung boyfriend nya. Sobrang totoo pala yung feeling na parang binuhusan ka ng yelo tas medjo nagmumute yung sounds sa paligid mo and you hear nothing but the beating of your heart. Kasi that’s what exactly what I was feeling nun time na yun.
Jay: Uy Ben, oks ka lang?
Ako: Ah yes. May naalala lang akong naiwan ko sa locker ko. Balikan ko lang. Nice meeting you Louise. Take care of our friend here. Very fragile nyan. Very sensitive. Pero sobrang maloko. Namimikon yan kaya kapag pikon ka, nako sad to say baka lagi kayong mag away nya. Mahilig din yan kumain at magpalibre kaya goodluck sa wallet mo. Mahilig din yan sa surprises kahit yung maliliit lang masaya na sya. Mabilis lang pasayahin yan si Joshua. Mahirap lang talaga paamuhin once nagtampo sayo. Basta be happy. Enjoy kayo. Sana magtagal kayo. Hahaha dami ko na pala nasabi. Sige na alis na ako see you around.
Di ko napansing habang nagbibilin ako kay Louise eh tumutulo na yung luha ko. Akala ko I held up my dignity in front of them. Di pala. Bumigay na pala yung luha ko habang nakaharap sa kanila. Kaya the moment na tumalikod ako eh di ko na napigilan humikbi. Di ko na napigilan yung pagagos ng luhang kanina pa gustong kumawala. Ang sakit kasi. Ang sakit sakit. Di ko alam kung bakit pa pinakilala ni Joshua sakin kung may bago syang boyfriend. Alam naman nyang hanggang ngayon eh gusto ko pa rin sya. Alam naman nyang hanggang ngayon eh mahal ko pa rin sya. So para saan yun? Para saktan ako? Para sampalin ako ng realidad na di kami pwede maging kami? Para saan yun Joshua?
Noong gabing yun, di talaga ako nakatulog. Jay kept texting me, asking me if I’m okay. And I always reply the same thing. I’m okay. I’m will be fine. Sa kakapaulit ulit ko ng mga katagang yun, I wonder kelan ko mapapaniwala sarili ko na I’m really okay. Na I will really be fine.
Kasi I really want to be okay. I want to be fine. But I can’t if I will always still feel this way. If I still have feelings for Joshua. So I decided na I will stop this stupid crusade into making Joshua my bestfriend again. I will stop these feelings for Joshua. I will stop thinking that the fact of us being in the same school is some kind of destiny, because in reality, it is nothing but a mere coincidence. I think this is the end of our love story.

But I think that maybe this is not how our story ends…