Confused in Love Two (Part 7)

The atmosphere is so depressing and I feel sorrowful. It feels like our once happy household, full of laughter and silly behavior has been ripped away.

By: Akhi Ryu Go

Bitter Sweet Again

At home, it was dinner time. The three of us, (me, Harold and Rocel) are eating at the table. We're awfully quiet. The atmosphere is so depressing and I feel sorrowful. It feels like our once happy household, full of laughter and silly behavior has been ripped away.

Rocel: Alam nyo, I'm feeling so sad right now. I mean back then we have Gideon and Gab here and we were happy. It feels like being with family, or feeling the closest thing to family.

Harold: I feel you Ross... It's kinda different here without my gym and drinking buddy.

I remained silent. I couldn't add up to the sadness we're all feeling right now and I'm really trying my best to stop myself from breaking down and cry.

Rocel: Akhi, I won't pretend that I understand what you're feeling right now but I just want you to know that you still have us. We care for you. I care for you.

Akhi: Thank you so much Ross. That means a lot to me.

Then after a while we heard the front door open. Na curious kami kung sino ang nagbukas ng pinto so we went to the living room and there we saw Gab, standing by the door. Once again I'm in tears at tumakbo ako papalapit kay Gab upang yakapin sya ng mahigpit. Rocel saw that and hindi nya napigilang maluha sa tagpong iyon.

Rocel: Huhuhu Oh no! Mahina ako sa mga ganitong situation so dun muna ako sa kwarto ko.

While crying she went to her room. Harold chose to leave us alone to give us privacy.

Nagyakap kami ni Gab ng mahigpit while I'm still in tears sobbing. From that embrace, nararamdaman kong nangulila din sya sakin.

Gab: Akhi! I'm so sorry. I couldn't do anything. I'm so stupid. Please forgive me.

Then I answered him but remained in that embrace with my face still burried on his chest.

Akhi: Gab, please stay. I don't wanna lose you. huhuhu I love you! I don't want you to go away! huhuhu

Gab didn't answer my plea. Instead he tightened his embrace even more and cried silently with his eyes shut tightly. He knows he can't do it just because Audrey has leverage. Then he held my face and looked me in the eyes.

Gab: Akhi, I'm here now. Don't cry.

I just nodded in agreement. Then I hugged him again. I just love the warmth of his arms wrapped around me. The feeling of being with the man that I love so much with my whole being.

After that emotional reunion, we went inside our room. Because I know for sure that Audrey isn't coming back to our apartment, inilipat ko na ulit ang mga gamit ko sa kwarto namin ni Gab.

Just as soon as we entered humiga kami sa bed ni Gab and we were cuddling. My head is rested on Gab's chest while he's hugging me and I can feel his heartbeat. He kissed me on the top of my head then he caressed my hair and then he spoke.

Gab: Is this gonna be our life now? I mean pakiramdam ko pilit tayong pinaglalayo. Ang hirap mawalay sa'yo. It's killing me.

Akhi: Why don't you just end things with Audrey? Do you still love her?

Gab: God! No!

Akhi: Then why do her bidding? Why do you stay by her side and do whatever she says?

Gab: *sigh*

Akhi: What is it Gab? You can tell me everything. You're the love of my life and above everything that I could wish for is your well being.

Gab: *Sigh* Audrey knows about us.

Akhi: What? How?

Gab: Apparently she followed me when I went to your room the last time. She was listening through the door and she heard everything. I wasn't careful. I didn't know that she was still awake.

Then just like that, all my doubts and questions have been answered at mas lalo pa akong naawa kay Gab ngayong nalaman ko na sunud sunuran sya kay Audrey dahil bina blackmail sya nito.

Akhi: Gab... I'm sorry that you had to suffer like this for me...

Then I cried once again.

Gab: Hey! It's okay! I love you and you know that. Naalala mo ba yung sinabi ko sa'yo when I was lying on the floor about to die in you arms because of my wounds?

*FLASHBACK FROM CONFUSED IN LOVE BOOK 1 CHAPTER 8*

"Akhi: Gab! Gab! I'm so sorry. huhuhu please be okay.

Niyakap ko sya. then hinawakan nya ako sa pisngi at nakatingin sya sa mga mata ko.

Gab: ayos lang ako Akhi. ang mahalaga okay ka. Hindi ko hahayang may mangyaring masama sa'yo.

Akhi: Gab please try not to talk too much. you're bleeding!!!

Gab: hehe wala ito. *cough* kung para sa'yo, gagawin ko ang lahat. "

*BACK TO THE PRESENT*

I was closing my eyes remembering that moment.

Akhi: Of course I do! How could I ever forget?

Then we remained silent for a while longer in that position at maya maya pa

Akhi: Gab...

Gab: What is it Akhi?

Akhi: I love you.

Gab: I love you too.

Then we stared at each other's eyes and then he leaned closer to my face and we kissed slowly, lovingly and passionately. That kiss got even more intense. I started taking his shirt off and I also took mine. I was feeling his body with my hands.

I can feel his muscles, and the warmth of his body. I can smell the scent of his perfume and that was the scent that I really loved and gotten used to.

Then his kiss went down to my neck then back to my lips. I did the same but I was going for it even lower.

I played with his chest while he's holding the back of my head, then his navel then finally I went further below the belt.

I unbuckled his belt then unzip his pants and took it off with his underwear and there!

Finally, I am pleasuring my man for the first time. It feels so right. Not an ounce of guilt. It was lust but with even more love. We spent the night making love to each other for the very first time in our relationship.

Kinabukasan, It was 7 am and there's a phone call. It's Aaron. I got off the bed leaving Gab there still asleep to answer the phone.

Akhi: Hello Aaron. Anung meron?

Aaron: Akhi papasok ka ba ngayon?

Akhi: Aaron, I'm sorry I can't. I think I'm gonna have to take a leave.

Aaron: Are you kidding me?! The boss is furious! Kase absent ka din kahapon monday and you didn't say anything!

Akhi: Please Aaron understand...

Aaron felt the sad tone in my voice... then...

Aaron: I don't know what you're going through right now, but don't worry. Somehow gagawan ko 'to ng paraan. Ako nang bahala sa'yo Akhi. Basta para sa'yo.

I forgot to mention na while Aaron is a member of the wait staff, anak din sya ng owner ng restaurant na pinagtatrabahuhan ko. So if anything, he can save me from an imminent firing.

Akhi: Thank you so much Aaron. I owe you one.

Aaron: Anything for you Akhi. Take a rest and stop thinking too much.

Akhi: I will Aaron. Thanks.

Then I hung up.

I went back to bed and lay next to my handsome prince. I couldn't count the times that I've seen him up close like this before but this time it's different. Because this time I don't know if I'd ever be able to look at him like this again. So I took the time to admire every inch of his face. Ang mahahaba nyang pilik mata, ang matangos nyang ilong, and that lips that I love to kiss at overall ang maamo nyang mukha na hindi nakakasawang pagmasdan. I kissed him and this time nagising na sya.

Gab: You really can't wait for me to wake up, can you?

Akhi: I know... It's just that, I don't know when I'm Gonna have another chance to do this again...

Gab: Hey! Stop being so depressing Akhi. Let's live in the moment. What's important is here and now.

Akhi: You're right Gab.

Then we kissed once again and after that nagharutan na kami and it feels so so good to have him around again... but not for long.

I spent the whole day being with him in everything that I was doing. We bathed together, Cooked together although the whole time he was just talking and I did the cooking, and of course we ate together with Rocel and Harold... and then now comes the hardest part...

The night is about to set in at nasa loob na kami ng kwarto ulit. Ang masakit lang, nagliligpit kami ng gamit this time instead of enjoying each other's company. Habang nagliligpit ako, the sadness on my face wears like an overdone make up.

Gab: Akhi, you don't have to help me. I can do this. If it makes you sad let me do this on my own. I can't leave seeing you like this... but I have to.

Akhi: *sigh* Is it so wrong for me to be this selfish? I just want you all for myself.

Gab: *sigh*

He stopped packing and he looked at me.

Gab: I will somehow deal with Audrey. Akhi, I'll do my best so we could be together again.

He hugged me and then we continued what we were doing.

We're now finished packing and all their stuff is already in the Uber. He's about to leave now.

Rocel: Wala na ba talaga kaming magagawa to stop you?

Gab: Ross I have to do this.

Harold: Pare basta magkikita parin tayo ha? Kung kailangan mo ng kausap andito lang ako drinking buddy mo. Same spot tayo kung saan napag uusapan natin ang mga seryoso at personal na bagay. Bros for life!

Gab: Oo naman Harold ikaw ang pinaka matagal kong kaibigan. Bros for life!

After that lumapit na saakin si Gab. They were all by the door outside but I chose to stay inside and sit in the sofa because it's too painful to see him leave.

Gab: Akhi...

I looked up, and tears started swelling up in my eyes.

Akhi: You have to go now Gab. Don't make this even harder for us.

Hindi man lang ako tumayo. Then I looked away trying to prevent my tears but I couldn't. Then Gab cleared his throat and his voice is getting shaky and his eyes are turning red and tears are swelling up too. Then he let out a very long sigh.

Gab: You take care Akhi.

He tapped my shoulder twice then he quickly turned around and went for the door hurriedly passing through Harold and Rocel at habang nakatalikod sya at papasakay sa car he keeps wiping his tears then he got inside.

The engine started and as it did, my heart is getting drowned in pain and sorrow.

At nang makaalis na ang sasakyan, I shut my eyes tightly feeling the pain then the tears that I've been holding back fell from my eyes and I cried out loud.

Then lumapit sakin sila Rocel and Harold rubbing my shoulder and my back to console me.